Dead Hooker In A Trunk CENSORED? How the Roxy Theater made an instant enemy of the horror scene.

Howdy horrorphiles! It's Ratticus here once again, this time I am here in protest, indignation and disappointment. Rather than my presenting one of my usual light-hearted articles, today for the first time I am writing about something that I am deeply upset about, in relation to a form of evil control I have been opposed to my entire conscious life - censorship. And who are the victims of this fate? None other than the Canadian crusaders, the Twisted Twins Jen and Sylvia Soska, my dearest friends and supporters, and of course the now international sensation behind the little movie that could, Dead Hooker In A Trunk, and the most anticipated follow up film I have ever been on the edge of my seat (even including the toilet) about - American Mary.


For those of you familiar with myself and my blog, you already know my involvement with the Soskas. You could say I am indirectly responsible for bringing Dead Hooker In A Trunk to my home Australia - after discovering the beautiful Twisted ones through blog-gurus Kristy Jett and Hannah Neurotica, I made it my mission in life to organise a small screening in Sydney, with so much excitement, support and love from Jen and Sylvia in making it happen. Just as I was securing a small venue, I had the exciting news that a major festival had picked up on some of the hype generated by my humble blogs and facebook page, and of course the snowballing momentum of this instant modern Grindhouse classic - a film which some (including myself) has resurrected the genre to a wider audience and paved the way for self-starting film makers everywhere to be inspired to just do what they are passionate about - making films no matter how restricted budget or resources may be.


Everything about this is positive, right? In the wake of a string of festival triumphs, awards, now major dvd distribution, and so much support and championing from the horror community, the Soskas can do no wrong. Or so we all thought......


And then there was the Roxy Theater. This establishment (In Saskatoon CANADA, no less) was due to screen a double feature including DHIAT, and flipflopped and withdrew the film from screening - why, you may ask? This film is a zany, fun, tongue-in-cheek, madcap masterpiece. It's not realistic or based on any real crime, and the women portrayed in the film by the kickass twins themselves and the incredibly talented and beautiful Rikki Gagne, are powerful and funny and smart and and and.... You get the idea! Even the hooker herself has an identity, a sad figure who dies from circumstance, a victim in the purest sense, not a glorified hole or object not cared about, a subject of mockery such as in the popular "black comedy" Very Bad Things, a highly accepted film which essentially promotes machismo bonding between males after they kill a prostitute in a Vegas hotel room. So, to quote the 25th letter of the alphabet, Y?????????


The name. The name. The name. Yes, I just repeated this three times. I bet it still hasn't sunk in yet. They BANNED a film from being shown because of its NAME. They BANNED a film from being shown because of its NAME. They BANNED a film from being shown because of its NAME. I am sitting listening to Rodriguez - Cold Fact just to keep myself calm. 


So what is to be done about this perfect example of douche-baggery? It's already gaining more momentum than a sumo wrestler on a ski jump (humour! Ratty is back from his rage) with petitions, blogs galore, letters being written and forwarded, facebook sharing of every single step of this now only 2-day-old travesty is in FULL effect. Be a part of this and show The Roxy and any other agents of control that the horror community is bigger and stronger than they could ever dream, and something like this simply fuels the fire of resolve and strengthens the bonds we share to bring them and their house of cards reality crashing down with a casual flick of our tongues and pens.


Here are some links to assist in this process.


The open letter itself - (write one of your own, even if it is 3 words long - "You suck ass", "Eat Buffalo Gnard", "WE WILL OVERCOME", something like that.

http://twistedtwinsproductions.blogspot.com/2011/04/open-letter-to-roxy-theater-in-regards.html

The change.org petition started by the amazing Scott Ruth of the National Horror Examiner:


http://www.change.org/petitions/tell-the-roxy-theatre-in-saskatoon-canada-that-you-support-dead-hooker-in-a-trunk

You may have noticed that this is the first issue of A Safer Injection that has no pretty pictures, I just wanted your full attention on this topic. For every obstacle there is a motivation to jump higher. For every act of putrid conformity there is a rebellious uprising. For every loss there is a victory. My small victory came last week, when the soon to be launched OneUp Microcinema in Perth Australia contacted me directly to screen DHIAT as one of their first features. I would do just about anything for Jen and Sylvia, if in reality the three of us were faced with a Dead Hooker In A Trunk, I would absolve them from blame, take the rap, do the time and write to them every day from the big house.


I feel strong as I finish this piece, though writing it has literally brought tears streaming down my face when I think of how much of a part these incredible women played in rescuing my belief in myself, helping me to return from the brink of drug addiction, homelessness and self abuse and even suicidal thoughts, to be just another horror blogger. But I know to them, I am so much more than that, and for that I will end with 3 words of my own for both of them.


I love you.


Till next time! (likely later today, I gotta counter this with more yuk-yuks!)


Joel Ratman Wells

Must MISS - Platinum Dunes presents..... The Birds 3-D

Howdy horrorphiles! Ratty's back again to deliver another parody to ease some of the wincing pain one feels in the spleen every time another classic piece of cinema history is set for the modern remake disaster zone. Of course, some of these things hit the mark, but it's just no excuse to keep making them. 


Gus Van Sant's remake of Psycho is now a long distant memory for most of us; relegated to a few dusty message boards where some still try to rationalize the Zen-like stupidity of a director wanting to remake a film exactly as it was first made. Now Hitchcock aficionados have the ultimate project to dread - Michael Bay does The Birds?

I don't give my rat's ass if he's not directing it. His baby Platinum Dunes, who could not even manage to successfully re-imagine ONE of the three classic slashers (Bubba, Jason or Freddy) to a standard that resulted in something the majority of viewers liked or thought was worthy; have had a big budget production of The Birds on the cards. This 3-D craptacular has now been pushed back a third time to 2013 according to the most popular sources. Prolonging the inevitable is silly. Surely they can take a page from the ultimate failure that was 1994's The Birds 2 - Land's End, which Halloween 2 Director Rick Rosenthal could not even bring himself to attach his name to (enter Mr Alan Smithee!).

So I have chosen to give you a first hand look at the REAL horror of Hollywood. My prediction of things to come, ironically on a film that is a classic example of just that. A grim prediction. Here we go.


The Birds - 3-D Interactive! A serious parody review


Melanie D (Lady Gaga) is the number one social columnist in the Hills. Her weekly vlog column "Gone to the birds" exposes the world (but more importantly the greater Los Angeles area) to the hottest celebrity scandals, muff slips and meltdowns as they happen. The film opens with a hilarious short sequence of Melanie recording her latest video, an interview with Hollywood badboy Charlie Sheen, played ironically by himself! In the full definition of digital 3-D, his face looks like a haunted pizza base with 2 dead black olives in it. 

Mitch "The switch" Brenner (George Clooney) is a slick corporate lawyer who is too busy winning the important cases to have time for romance. His latest case sees him embroiled in a battle to sue an infants school who actually encouraged young children to draw their own versions of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, tainting these timeless cartoon characters with their childish re-imaginings; without paid permission. The resulting victory against the St. Agnes of Rome Volunteer Infants School for the Blind and Spastic nets millions for Disney and leaves Mitch the Switch on a well deserved vacation at the finest destination he can think of - his own luxury mega-mansion which recently replaced the quaint town of Bodega Bay. The crowning achievement of this futuristic super-estate is Birdland, the animatronic theme park crammed with robotic examples of every bird species, because Brenner really likes birds for some unexplained reason. Who cares, these things look AWESOME! SO much scarier than actual nature. It's better. Trust me. And the name was a true original, it had only ever been used by some black musicians playing alleged "jazz".

The two meet at one of Birdland's regular weekend parties, in the lovebird exhibit (a subtle wink to the original film! If you look closely in this sequence, you can see Seth Rogen dressed as Hitchcock subtly tweeting on his ipad 4. Tweeting.... birds.... this shit works on so many fucking levels, it's Inception times a hundred million). They fall instantly in love and plan to combine their talent and wealth to form the perfect team! She will keep digging up dirt on people, and he will sue them when they try to protect their own privacy! The perfect match is obvious, Gaga and Clooney's 50 foot egos on the enormous Imax 3-D screen almost look larger than real life. The resulting duet they sing at the end of the party, "Peck out my eyes (for love is blind)" becomes quite ironic in the next scene. It's almost like they gave it that name intentionally.

A sudden burst of dramatic music shatters the ears of the audience as the focus turns to a slow pan over a sleek, black ravenbot that appears to be malfunctioning. A small screen on the ravenbots techno-control collar displays the ominous message that can barely be read before the relief of the dramatic zoom to a glowing red flashing display which reads "MALFUNCTION IN PROGRESS". 


Then two ravenbots start to flash red. (now for some magic that Hitchcock simply didn't have the rendering skills to achieve - his movie was good, but you must surely admit the graphics were terrible) - Then four. Then all sixteen thousand birdbots all at once! The blood-curdling cacophonous banshee wail that emanates from Gaga's mouth upon seeing this spectacle should surely have her at least nominated for a Grammy. 


The next 56 minutes were kind of confusing and made me dizzy. Many flashing cut shots of beaks striking and steel feathers sparking and Clooney's eyes got pecked out (SEE?) and no one could stop them and I think there was a secret Gaga muffslip shot but it was so brief I may be mistaken and it may have been a mangled dead bird. Bot. 

An eyeless and surprisingly still very dapper Clooney, on his final breath, finds the perfect solution to end this ungodly siege of naturebots taking their revenge. Via his battered ishoe still hanging off his one remaining foot, Mitch the Switch tweets via Melanie B's account that birdbots are popular with stupid young people, and the enjoyment they get from this harmless gimmicky creature should be derided and used as fuel for hatred and discrimination by older people who should know better on every network available, including the physical destruction of the creatures themselves. The tweet reads 


*spoiler alert*


"Birdbotz is emolame, raep and keel birdbotz lul"

Melanie B seems confused at first, she almost looks as though she may ask why he didn't call the police or the army, and then a rumble. Then a slightly louder rumble. Then a MEMBRANE-TEARING THUNDEROUS ROAR as the millions of e-haters descend on the birdbots and claim victory for the greater good of LA, which this week is the endangered Revolvimoe of Scislacs, a rare creature from the Anagram forest of Australia.


The closing credits are actually the new video clip for Gaga's tie-in single "Flapping around like a feather-head", featuring breakdancing birdbots, outrageous costumes, and a neat and funny trick where Clooney puts grapes in his dead eye sockets, it's by far the highlight of his career, and I don't usually give out high ratings!


10 out of 5.




So there you have it folks, by far my silliest parody, and definitely the one revealing the most hidden bitterness! I hope you enjoyed reading.


Till next time


Ratty

Dead Hooker In A Trunk finally in Australia, no FOOLIN'!

Howdy horrophiles! It's the absent rat, back again with the most incredible news I have received this year! This is more than just a review, update or story - this is is the first piece I can write for this blog that is 100% relevant to both my passion for horror and cult films, and the everyday struggle of my life. But let's keep it simple to start with.

By now, if you have not heard of Jen and Sylvia Soska, CJ Wallis, Twisted 

Twins Productions or the film Dead Hooker In a Trunk it's clear you're not too concerned about independent film sensations or the resurgence of the grindhouse style to low budget film making. The little film that could continues to wow audiences and critics and bloggers alike, so it's not my position to write it up yet again, it's awesome and you need to see it and support it and that's all you need to know from me. A simple search will lead you to a plethora of like opinions if you don't want to trust in me. 

Living in Australia is wonderful. We have the most laid back climate, a choice of any weather system you please, and the most diverse and trouble free culture on the planet. One thing Australia does not have enough of is horror and cult film events, screenings or conventions. Knowing this, when I first discovered the Soska sensation at the end of last year through my good friends and mentors Kristy Jett (Geek goddess of Bloodsprayer and Fright-Rags fame) and Hannah Neurotica (the genius gender writer behind Ax Wound and WIH recognition month), my first question to them was "have you had ANYONE in this country interested in the film?" - to which the reply was no.

Something awoke inside me that day, I faced all the inhibitions that prevent myself and most others from nurturing an inkling into an idea, raising the idea to an action and producing a result. I threw caution and fear to the wind, and politely asked Jen and Sylvia if I could look into getting a screening for them. From this point, a lovely friendship of mutual appreciation, support, love and respect blossomed in further communication and my efforts to promote the film and it's beautiful creators. They sent me a copy of their film and gave me the authority to organize something, however small. I remember thinking "well, I won't get it into the Dendy, but a small hall or pub venue will still break it here" - as I continued to investigate a venue and costs, I receive a note from Jen - "GUESS WHAT MOVIE IS COMING TO AUSTRALIA????!!!!"

At the Dendy in Newtown, the one cinema I saw as the ultimate venue for this, on April Fool's Day of all days, as part of the Night Of Horror festival (one of the only ones we have), Dead Hooker In A Trunk will be showing for the first time in Australia, with DVD release following so all my friends down under can enjoy the film I have ranted and raved and driven them all crazy about in the last 5 months. Everything I had hoped to try for is now a reality, and my desire to organize screenings of my own is only stronger after this news. It proves to me that Sydney has the potential to have a scene, and others are already making it happen too.

So if you're in Sydney and free on Friday, come along. I will be sitting right at the front centre, wearing my DHIAT t-shirt and the biggest sense of happiness, pride and joy I have felt in some time. From a day dream, to a notion, to a new friendship, a new direction, the reawakening of a dormant passion, so much has come from this experience - this may seem insignificant, silly or over the top for some readers, those that know about my struggles will agree that this is a fine day to be a rat.

Thanks so much Jen, Sylvia and CJ - it's so wonderful that your film can make it all the way around the world to some people other than me, your number one Australian supporter. Cheers mates!

Till next time

Ratty

WIH Recognition Month - My top 10 memorable performances - Part 2

Howdy horrorphiles! Ratty here to deliver the fantastic (well, it's not really dramatic) conclusion to my top 10 list. This is a list of memorable performances by women in horror films, in every case I feel these actresses were pivotal in the transcendence these movies make from the status quo into the mighty realm of the classic. With these next 5 titles, I am venturing into the world of foreign films, by this I mean anywhere but Hollywood. 


Once again these come in no "order" of merit, for they are all essential viewing, and to me they highlight the importance of a convincing performance when dealing in the currency of terror. Here we go!




Cécile De France in Haute Tension


Haute Tension is probably still my favorite horror film made this century. Alexandre Aja's debut film was a flagship in the new trend of "high impact violence" in horror films, and was poorly emulated time and time again by Hollywood in the following years. It was spared a remake, but re-released in the USA under the awful title Switchblade Romance. Cécile De France's flawless performance in a truly multi-dimensional role as both victim and perpetrator shows us vulnerability, fear, strength and pure insanity. 

Elizabeth Moody in Braindead (Dead Alive)


Peter Jackson's all time splatter comedy opus will never be topped, the gore sequences are the most inventive and brilliant use of traditional makeup and special effects on a limited budget. But if not for the fantastic performances, this is all we would ever remember. No one who has seen this film could ever deny that Vera is the embodiment of the mother from hell, and that's BEFORE she is infected with the rabid monkey-virus and transforms from the undead into a 20 foot tall monstrosity. Poor Lionel! Jackson also featured Elizabeth Moody in Heavenly Creatures and the first Lord of the Rings film.

Manuela Velasco in REC


First of all, I must say I am not a fan of the hand-held camera style shooting appearing more often in films, it is a fantastic concept but requires extreme skill to be pulled off successfully by both the cameraman and the actors, and of course in most cases (Blair Witch, Cloverfield, The Last Exorcism) it comes off hokey and noticeably takes away from the enjoyment of the film. To me REC is an exception to the rule, thanks in no small part to the lead role of Angela Vidal, the news reporter who is trapped in a building where an unknown contagion is sending the residents bonkers. Velasco's beautifully understated performance allowed me the very rare suspension of disbelief I don't usually experience these days. 

Nanako Matsushima in Ringu and Ringu 2

The film that started the explosion of Asian horror films that would grab the Western film-goer by the throat; and provide Hollywood with endless poor remake fodder. It also set the iconic "evil little girl with long hair over eyes" as a standard for many other Asian films to emulate, in most cases poorly. It is a truly eerie, harrowing and inventive film, and the fate of the main character Reiko is what leaves the viewer in suspense with every scene, as she tries to uncover the mystery of Sadako's deadly video tape. I include both the original and the sequel, as in my mind they are equally good and should be watched as one story. Matsushima's terror, especially in the well sequences, is convincing enough to chill the blood of any viewer.

Morjana Alaoui, Mylène Jampanoï and Isabelle Chasse in Martyrs

I only watched this film recently, and was blown away. I had heard about how 

incredibly graphic and disturbing it was, and like many films I waited for all the

hype to die down a bit, and expertly avoided spoilers so I could watch the film 

without someone else's opinion in mind. I did the same thing with A Serbian

Film, which also blew away my high expectations, but to me this is the winner

when it comes to recent shockers. These young women give ridiculously

well crafted performances, I had to end with this example as protest to the 

cheesy "Scream Queen" article that started me writing this to begin with. There

is so much screaming in this film, terrifying, awesome, realistic, cringe inducing

screaming. 

The film has the unique storyline which makes both female leads main 

characters, of course I have included Isabelle Chasse who plays the "creature", 

possibly the finest full body makeup job I have seen in any film. This is not 

to be missed, brutal, upsetting and perplexing from the first minute to the 

explosive conclusion. This is probably the ultimate example of a film which

required extraordinary acting for it to work at all. A triumph.

So there you have it folks, I hope that this reminds you of the tireless efforts 

of all the women of horror, and indeed of film.

Till next time

Ratty

WIH Recognition Month - My top 10 memorable performances - Part 1

Howdy horrorphiles! It's the Ratman, here once again to deliver a safer injection. Today I have decided to contribute an article in honor of Women in Horror Recognition Month and all the wonderful women that make horror so fantastic and eternal. I have been waiting in the wings this month, but after reading an awful piece listing 10 great "Scream Queens" (a list which seemed to judge its winners by how strong an erection they gave the author) I had to create balance in the Force by publishing my own list of 10. 


My list is actually about horror films and memorable performances by women in these films. Films that are essential viewing for anyone who appreciates true method acting, and wants to understand just a little about what it might take from within to create moments of true terror. All of these films sit among my all time favorites thanks to such wonderful actresses. So ladies, I tip my hat to thee. There is no order as they are all superb.


Barbara Hershey in The Entity 


Whether they liked the film as a whole or not, no critic could ever deny the strength of Barbara Hershey's performance in The Entity. The supposedly true account of a woman who was sexually assaulted by spirits would be laughable without something truly convincing from the lead actress. What we get is just that, Hershey immersed herself in the role of Carla Moran, and lay herself bare for the camera, and I speak not of her clothing. This is a true example of a film that trusted in a stellar performance to make it work.

Shelley Duvall in The Shining


Until I saw The Shining (perhaps the first movie to truly terrify me) I always thought of Shelley Duvall as Olive Oyl from the much loved childhood favorite Popeye. A strange parallel can even be made between Olive and The Shining's Wendy, at least in the opening of the film - she is the ultimate submissive, vulnerable and "weak" wife character, dominated by her aggressive husband. Her terrifying ordeal is played out to perfection, leaving most viewers as shaken as Wendy is by Jack's explosion into psychotic violence. This is one of the greatest performances in the history of cinema, in one of the finest horror films ever to be made.

JoBeth Williams, Beatrice Straight, Heather O'Rourke, Dominique Dunn, Zelda Rubenstein in Poltergeist


So many thoughts ran back through my head when recalling this film, so many moments and memories and other things connected to this film. Growing up in the 80's, this was a film so talked about, it probably takes the crown as the film I waited longest to actually see. I cannot choose a single performance from a female in this film for the list, in fact all 5 featured roles were delivered wonderfully, including the least developed character of Dana (Dominique Dunn) - after all that happened, it's a shame that some people only got to know this movie through its controversy, rather than its merits.

Sigourney Weaver in Alien


Science Fiction and horror were rarely mixed in equal doses in a film with any success, until Ridley Scott brought us Alien. Female protagonists were rarely the first to pick up the big guns and come to the rescue via serious ass-kicking, until Sigourney Weaver brought us Ellen Ripley. In my opinion, this film is perfect. It has everything I want in a film, and is crafted with the care and design of a formidable list of talent. I can assume almost everyone who will ever read this blog has seen this film many times over. Sigourney Weaver is the ultimate woman, end of story.

Linda Blair in The Exorcist


As this is one of the most written-about films and performances in all of horror, there's really nothing I can say that is original. This performance, along with Jodie Foster's performance in Taxi Driver, should always be seen as the cardinal example of bravery and strength in a performance by a young lady. I could not imagine what went through Linda Blair's mind as she was made up to be the incarnation of the devil, cursing and bleeding and vomiting and screaming her way into the critics' best lists. Though her demonic voice was performed by Mercedes McCambridge, from this footage linked below we can clearly see this young girl is phenomenally good.


Original voice footage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqZcMeX0tZE

I have decided, through my sore back and also for the sake of brevity, to make this a two part feature. Now we have the added element of suspense. Who will take out the next 5 spots on my list? Find out in the next installment (spooky noises)


Ratty